No doubt remembering those past Transilvanian days when all their fans wrote letters to them by snail mail Darkthrone have decided to give their 19th studio album a sardonic title. They could have gone the whole hog and called it Eternal Hailz I guess but that would have been somewhat preposterous. As with the past couple of albums Fenriz and Nocturno Culto thrust this upon the suspecting and anticipating world to everyone at the same time, those that bought it, those that are writing about it and those who just wanted a listen via various streaming mediums. It’s an interesting way of doing things although not ideal to anyone writing about it as the comments came thick and fast and there was no avoiding them. This time however they were not on the whole good and I got the impression that many giving this one a spin were not going to be rushing out and making that all important purchase. Of- course one has to make up their own mind and so I started playing it intensively trying not to let myself get swayed by the comments that were for a couple of days all over the place, but…

Naturally the first thing that one will notice amidst the song titles, which sound like 10-year -old is trying to come up with them, is that there are only 5 numbers here which is the least they have ever put on an album. There’s an obvious reason for that and it is that they are slower and doomier than many that have come before them. The days of black metal have long gone, the punk enthused era has too and last album Old Star in 2019 saw our dastardly duo contemplating this direction but also injecting some killer proto metal hooks and keeping things interesting with some incredibly memorable melodies. There’s still a bit of that on numbers such as ‘His Masters Voice’ and the album starts with one at a mid-paced gallop before stumbling off with craggy vocals and shambling riffs. Bass is heavy here and there is a chunky ballast about the production from Chaka Khan (ooh Chaka Khan) Studio in Oslo. Around the midway mark after the spark though the doom-flares start to shuffle, the immediacy has gone and things get somewhat turgid for want of a better word and unless you are a true doom head it is frankly a bit on the boring side. For some reason when it is finishing there’s a bit of instrumental guitar that sounds like it could have escaped from the start of The Damned classic Smash It Up, something we hope they are going to do. Nope it’s the craggy, creepy crawl of 9-minute number Hate Cloak (and that is a preposterous bloody title). It’s like the pair of them are doing a homage to cult acts, I guess that is often the case but in this lethargic manner of repetitive riffing it has the feeling that this is a studio jam that has simply been recorded and dialled in.

Unfortunately, the whole album feels like that and it is distinctly underwhelming. Overlong, extended songs lack the spark that we have become accustomed to and for once coming back for repeated listens has become a chore rather than a pleasure; yes, I even fell asleep on one occasion. That kind of brings us to ‘Wake of the Awakened’ (seriously).. At least we get a gritty and grimy burst of speed but boy do these “rivers of life grind away. Furrows of numb regretfulness” (to quote the lyrics) spreading via arcane keyboards circa a bad Death SS song and a never-ending doom by numbers plod. Does longest number ‘Voyage To A North Pole Adrift’ have a serious ecological message? Well maybe but who can ever truly fathom Darkthrone’s lyrical prowess? Could this actually be the most boring song of the whole damn illustrious and storied career which consists of hundreds of them? Seriously it feels like it and is a real endurance test even the burst of speed now seeming formulaic and tired. Damn this is a frustrating listen. Considering we are told via Nocturno Culto that “A three-minute song is nothing we think of at the moment. We like it this way. For now” it seems odd that essentially last number ‘Lost Arcane City of Uppakra’ downs tools half way through after doing nothing particularly worth noting (at just over the 3 minute mark) and ends the album with some pointless guitar strumming “arcane” babbling with wispy keyboards.

Yeah, I never really expected to be penning a review like this for Darkthrone and I have done enough of them over the past however many years but needs unfortunately must. There’s been so much adventurous and forward-thinking music during the last couple of years and so many have really pushed their boundaries in the face of the challenges from Covid but if anything, Darkthrone have done exactly the opposite here and made what is debatably their worst album. I doubt they give a flying thing what anyone thinks and it will be interesting now to read other’s opinions but I’m sure I won’t be the only one feeling somewhat disappointed.

Still, respectfully Eternal Hailz.

(6/10 Pete Woods)

https://www.facebook.com/Darkthrone-101075189934422

https://peaceville.bandcamp.com/album/eternal-hails