Not entirely sure how it happened what with my vociferous denunciation of all things bollocks pirate and metal, but I seem to have become Ave Noctum’s official foreign correspondent from the shore of Tortuga. I’ve reviewed two out of three of their previous albums and here we are again. And again, these generous souls provide a full CD, nice press release, photo, patch and, well I thought it was an eye patch but turns out to be a face mask…
It also has ‘feel free to share and copy’ on the back. Would have thought that it should say “Under no circumstances should you share or copy as that would be piracy… ” just to encourage budding pirates, but hey. Or Aaargh!
Mm. Ok. Mary Read is still captain and Woodleg Willy still sounds like a description of a malformed penis. English lyrics still scan pretty badly, keelhauled in fact, and this is not the heaviest galleon on the oceans.
Is it still fun though?
We get a great little sub-Bal-Sagoth or Kull intro and then breeze into ‘Stowaway’ which is a spritely little punked up number. I think this immediately will tell people what they are in for. Mary Read’s vocals are distinctive but I suspect not for everyone and there is that curious shoehorning of lyrics in to the tune make them kind of scan…. But it is just bright, bouncy and fun. Also, the production is a lot better than the last album I heard from them.
We then get to their lighter side. ‘Pirates Of Saaribia’. A pleasant little light jig with a sing-along chorus for drunken audiences. Really this should make my toes curl but it would kind of feel like kicking a puppy. They’re happy, they want you to be happy. Can’t complain too much.
‘Parley’ goes a little NWOBHM with a fine little riff and melody. It’s also a truly silly song, a musing on that whole Pirates Of The Caribbean ‘guidelines’ thing. Utterly ridiculous but actually a really catchy and well-crafted song, some great vocal interplay and a genuine pleasure.
‘Stormriders’ is much more dramatic with a galloping pace, a nice riff and melody and some of Cap’n Read’s best vocals. The serious side of Tortuga if you like and yeah, I kinda wish they would do more of this but, hey, they like being cheerful too much I guess. But this is the second little cracker in a row.
‘Code Of Conduct’ is back to the jigging and yeah this one actually does make them tootsies cringe and cramp. Sounds like something from the Captain Pugwash soundtrack to me….Hard pass. To ‘A Place Behind The Sun’ which is apparently a cover, a gentle ballad with echoes of early Nightwish in its lilting piano. It’s a sweet relief after the previous horror.
It goes a little downhill here. Nothing is actually wrong with ‘Rackham’s Revenge’ at all; a good driving riff that is a neat slice of euro-metal but something about the chorus slightly lets it down. Not badly, mind, but just a little.
The we get to another cover by Landstalker. ‘FSM’. Oh lord, this is fucking horrible. No really. Fine if you want to listen to pirates sing about the bloody flying spaghetti monster have at it, but despite the opening which has great promise as soon as the lyrics come it fully encapsulates what I hate about pirate metal. Oh and there’s a guitar-line.that sounds way to close to Heat Of The Moment. Minus two points.
The curiously titled ‘Shark Of The Dark’ kinda saves it as the closer (remix track not counting). Nice heavy riff again, some lovely drumming and a great chorus. Second best recent song about sharks behind Twisted Tower Dire’s ‘And The Sharks Came Then’.
Ah, there you are. A mixed bag. Some of their best ever songs, a couple of their worst. When Tortuga are good, they are very good. When they are bad they…. Well. Not sure I can forgive them that FSM horror.
Overall though a solid album, a much better production and all power to them for piloting their own idiosyncratic course under their own sail. We need that kind of spirit.
Like pirates? Like metal? Like smiling?
Tortuga.
(6/10 Gizmo)
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