“What’s this?” I asked Thee Ed as he hurriedly shoved an album at me.
“Dunno,”he said casually. “Anyway, must be off…”
“Didn’t it make a noise like a whoopee cushion with a leak when you accidentally stood on it just now?”
“Bye..!”
“Ere, it’s not bloody bagpipes is it…?!”
Um. Yes. And lots of other pipes. And hurdy-gurdy. And endless “Hey! Hey! Hey!” chants. And it’s a live album. With long winded jokes. In German. And pirate songs.
Anyone still here?
Oookaaay. Professional head on Gizmo and jokes aside: I know nothing about the band other than they appear to be popular with some people and that unless you’re UFO, Thin Lizzy or Orange Goblin a live album is a difficult introduction to a band. But on the plus side, I have nothing intrinsically against pipes etc. Rather bloody like them in fact. So I grabbed my revolutionary banner (check their website) and prepared to join them in battle.
First impressions are mixed. If you don’t mind the reedy pipe sound that dominates this entire album then we’re off to a good start. The full sound usually consists of the aforementioned reedy pipes which sound like a cross between Scottish bagpipes and something like a sackbut, with maybe a hurdy gurdy in the background and mostly martial style drumming. After the intro, Veitstanz is a rather pleasant medieval sounding little dance, bubbly and light and genuine first-band-of-the-second-day-of-the-festival-dance-away-your-hangover stuff. Der Letze Spielman, though begins with one of the lengthy and amusing-if-you-speak-German anecdotes (which I don’t and so is just dead time) and lurches into a simple repeated pipe refrain with some commendably not tinkered with vocals. I say commendably, but they are really rather thin, weak and more than a little off key until the band chorus off backing vocals comes in and levels everything out. Nothing to remotely inspire the crowd chanting but I guess they were pissed and I’m just pissed off. La Ride is another instrumental and much better for it but a bit one dimensional. Enjoyable though. Then back to the jokes in German. Is this what ‘Live And Dangerous’ sounds like to non-English speakers…? Fuck knows. It does suggest to me, though, if you’re seeking to expand your audience that these interludes are left to DVDs where subtitles can be added or, in the case of Turisas, they are so visually entertaining that the meaning becomes irrelevant…
Salome has a half decent tune, mostly ruined by the vocals, but the crowd sing along. I let them. I’m looking around my own front room for the beer tent. Charybdis next, mostly uninterrupted by vocals and so much better for it and it really pulls me back in. Six tracks in though and it’s all becoming rather frustrating in a bad way. What you get for your money is usually a nice, simple, catchy tune. If there are vocals, they mostly make a mess of said tune, if not then the tune rarely goes much further than a minor variation which tends to be a little disappointing as it’s clear that these guys can chuck out a fair jig or reel on their instruments. You want more music and lead vocals and usually get the reverse.
Track seven is the bloody pirate song.
We get Scylla, though, companion instrumental to Charybdis I suppose and just as bright and listenable which gives me enough energy to plough on. Fiat Lux is obviously a fan favourite with more of the crowd “hey, hey, hey!” chants but… No. An earworm maybe, but so is Bob The Builder. No. I make it through crowd sing-alongs and to Saltatio Mortis itself which is a fairly nice almost mournful tune that threatens to be great and they follow it up with Saltarello which is great. Really. Last time I heard this was by Dead Can Dance on Aeon! Faster and fun and then utterly killed by another over long intro into the final song which… Well, it’s the last song.
I’m betting these guys can be a blast on a good day live: Bouncy songs like Saltarello, Scylla and Charybdis to the fore, stuff like Russe, Fiat Lux and Nach Jahr Und Tag maybe elbowed aside, but on record I’m drowning in apathy. Sorry but I really dislike the vocals, find too many songs forgettable despite a small number others being rather fine and feel totally lost here. I’m looking longingly at my lovely Trollfest and Korpiklaani albums, wondering where Aeon is and if it’s time for Turisas. Even wondering if I should give Eluveitie a spin again.
I know there is a market for this stuff, but sadly I am neither revolutionary nor pirate enough and this is not the way to be introduced to the band, not at all.
Do like Saltarello though.
(3.5/10 Gizmo)
http://www.saltatio-mortis.com
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