There are, for a start, two things I find interesting about bizarre Finnish industrial metal band Turmion Kätilöt (basically currently MC Raaka Pee, RunQ, DQ, Shag-U, Bobby Undertaker and Master Bates…). The first is that I came across them 20 years ago via a video track on the DVD that came with the Spinefarm compilation called ‘Hard Covers’ – said track was…er… different. The video, including the band in anatomically unforgiving latex gimp suits and featuring alien abductions and bikini girls with machine guns, was hilarious and the music weirdly pounding and compelling. And that was the last thing I heard by them until now.
The second thing is that they aren’t in the Metal Archives – now considering you will find (the wonderful) Amesoeurs in there amongst many others this tends to suggest that they are just too…er..well I would say silly but that would give the wrong impression (and some of the pathetic joke bands in there kind of gives a lie to that anyway) so I guess amongst the industrial metal they just decided that the disco was a bit much.
Yeah, I said disco. If you don’t know the band after twenty years plus of existence and having had, and having, some very well know members of the Finnish scene in their ranks for significant periods (hi Spellgoth!) then that word might be a bit of a WTF?
It gets worse. Or better. Or different.
‘Yski Jumalista’ the opener has an EBM meets Bronski Beat keyboard blip and ping until the very metal riff just hammers down like a steel foundry. The vocals are rough, growled and almost like pixies the keyboard sounds dance around the riff. And then the refrain breaks out into full Eurovision style dance melody. But still with the metal riff. It’s actually kinda fun…admittedly they could be singing about murdering teddy bears and eating entrails but at least they bounce up and down and sound happy.
The thing is if after the second chorus of this, you want it all to be over then all I can say is that this album will NOT be for you, or the car journey of a certain Editor.
‘Päästä Irti’ (Google says ‘Let Go’) begins like some really brutal industrial death and yet once again breaks out into a dance party. If you can stand it, and if for example you didn’t mind too much when VNV Nation spread out into pretty much dance music and/or watch Eurovision you probably will get a kick out of it. It’s got energy, verve and honestly its infuriatingly catchy. And frankly I am sitting here smiling for some goddamned unknown reason. But I’m not going to knock it. Shit they even manage a very metal guitar break and an almost beatdown section.
Ah lets pick some highlights. Firstly I love the production; bright but always keen to drag out a wonderful industrial metal tone and the harsh vocals are fantastic. The rhythm is paramount, destructive and thunderous at times. Check out ‘Trauma’ for a great blend of violent sounding industrial and europop. ‘Se Mitä Et Näe’ begins just brilliantly; dense industrial meets Carpenter Brut synthwave, dancing electronics, harsh vocals barking back and forth, a fist pumping chorus that Rammstein would nick in a second. It is the least disco track here for sure but it still has that weird pop sensibility buried in the riffs and heavy electronica.
I’m sure for a lot of people this will get a bit much. ‘Puuttuva Naula’ for example may be way too pop for a lot of readers. It’s not my favourite song by a long way but not because of the pop but because I think it’s a bit meh, a bit filler. Yet they follow it with ‘Schlachter’ which is a wonderful bit of chaotic EBM with flourishes of gabba.
Oh and they even close with a nearly eight minute epic ‘Reset 7 (Not To Be Continued)’ that runs the whole line from twee J-pop through flat out pulsing dance to almost threatening industrial dance metal.
Ah look. Open your mind and put your party pants on and see what’s inside. This is an album of Marmite I suspect. It will be waaaay over the line for a lot of people, like Metal Archives, which is fine. But even a grumpy old shit like me can see that all these guys seem to want to do is have an absolute blast and poke the odd bear. I guess like they have been doing for the last two decades while I wasn’t looking. So if the description doesn’t put you off, what have you got to lose? Well Trve Kvlt status probably you think, but you know….Spellgoth. So you’re covered.
Genuinely not a clue where to go with this for a score. All I know is the odd track aside it made me unsure if I should be dancing or fist pounding and headbanging. And it made me smile. A lot. And it’s catchy as hell.
Finland, after twenty odd years I think they deserve a shot at Eurovision. You know what to do. DANCE!
Now where’s me gimp suit.
(8/10 Gizmo)
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