I had to have a word with myself whilst reviewing this album. The description of Crust Punk mixed with Sludge Metal in the list sent by the Ave Noctum Big Boss (ANBB) whet my appetite and got me all a flutter.
When the album arrived in my inbox and I saw the track titles I was crestfallen. “Pork Sword of Damocles”, “Satanic Cunt Slicer” “I Cum Brulee” I thought I had picked another “comedy” metal album – though that last one did make me grin. So far so Seth Putnam. I tried a few times to listen to it but could feel my snobbishness rising and put it aside for more “serious” music.
Luckily I got over myself and spun it on headphones without glancing at the song titles and gave myself a giant dose of balls to the ears and stop being such a pretentious arsehole.
Thank fuck I did too.
Gorgonchrist are not as crusty as I was led to believe but they right a mean riff and tracks that are as catchy as Covid.
Opening with “Toaster Inferno” the first comparison I will make is Venomous Concept for this whacky but razor sharp punk n grind track followed by the aforementioned “Porksword……” . Why did I let the title rile me so? This is a rampant amalgamation of blackened crust and death metal with some massive stomp along riffs and cymbal stabs. Top stuff! Midway through it drops into a heavy chugging riff that takes me back to Sacred Reich and Exodus with some crazed solos to boot.
How about a curveball? Holy Ronnie James a song about dragons! Dragons Treasure no less! Lookout! Despite the subject matter this is no swords and sandals Power Metal romp. It’s more Crumbsuckers meets SSS meets Sodom with some awesome rasped vocals and what is evidently trademark Gorgonchrist chonky riffs. The no one can save you break is followed by a heads down rocking thrash section that had me banging my bald head and throwing the horns.
It is not often that bands have a series of tracks running through their releases. Gorgonchrist do though. Questions from a Victorian Mortuary.” Parts 2 and 3 are on their last release Fish In A Mountain from 2022 and I guess part one must be on an earlier e.p. that I cannot find on Bandcamp. The saga continues on “And Justice for Balls” with parts 4 and 5 forced apart by three other tracks to keep the trepidation and sense of cliff-hanger intrigue going.
Part 4 stats with an Exploited style drum (reminds me of their cover of Troops of Tomorrow) before the track abandons a dark groove for a full on death/grind cacophony. Whilst the fifth part has the kind of dark punky feel that made A.F.I. pre mall goth phase so alluring before then erupting into chaos. By its end I am energised but left with the mystery. Who is the wanker wanking at the window? Most importantly – why? Enquiring minds need to know.
There is little time to ponder as I need to rewind back to “Legs of a Penguin” a right nasty black n roll riffathon that brings to mind Wagons era Darkthrone but with even more unhinged vocals than offered by Ted and Fenriz. Then it is time to get sticky. “I Cum Brulee” is punky and daft but again so so catchy – you will find yourself shouting along to the chorus so mind listening in your car, with the windows open, by a school. I have rewound this track a few times to try and make out the lyrics. I won’t spoil it but listen out for the rhyming couplet umbrella and Nigella. This is great fun but taking the nuts lyric and themes aside it is a damn fine track – which pretty much epitomises the whole album.
Time for a trip into “Anal Civilisations” – not the bum rap I first thought (these puns) but instead a hard and heavy metal punk hybrid with elements of Celtic Frost, Municipal Waste and Discharge. “Satanic Cunt Slicer“ conjures up the quick riffs of Scott Ian and a hint of modern Carcass followed by some mid paced BM grooving.
The final couplet – “Monkey Pump” and “Dr Lovefire” whilst sounding like a bizarre comic team up are rather another fine metallic mess that I fell into. The first is a strangely eerie punk/metal hybrid that had me chanting pump pump, pump pump ya monkey out loud in the gym. Narrowly avoiding being escorted out I as graced with the presence of Dr Lovefire – a gent with his qualifications deserves a full seven minutes and twenty seconds of epic end track. It melds elements of thrash, grind and even some old fashioned doomy heavy metal. If I’m honest it is a little bit too long and the final refrain lasts a good few minutes ….but if you get into the groove like Madge once sang then it tickles in all the right bits.
In all “And Justice for Balls” is a racking slab of punky tunes with its limbs in many camps in the world of extremity. What they certainly can do is write a damn catchy song that will have me assaulting my ears with them repeatedly.
(8/10 Matt Mason)
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