The time has come oh timid reader, to talk of many things, of Spice Girls, Biebers, Kanye Wests, the cabbages who sing…Erm sorry but this is not the easiest of things to approach and my head is a little bit mushed and abused; thank you Spider God and to think they went from songs inspired by Ingmar Bergman to this… The UK blackened metal act prove that it is not all about corpse paint and kvltness and that they have a shock, sense of humour here. After some excellent splits and EP’s and establishing themselves as ones to watch, the UK based band are gearing themselves up to new album ‘Fly In The Trap’ in November. I was very happy that the CD of the album turned up here for review but with it was this cheeky little earlier release that came out in January. I knew of its existence and had a nervous listen to it digitally before running off screaming but now I have the disc in front of me it would be rude not to cover it, right?
Now I am of the opinion that cover songs can be fun but cover bands should be culled. On the whole popular music can be horrible, luckily, I am allergic to radio stations and if confronted by it in shops, leave as fast as my feet can carry me. So here we have ‘Black Renditions’ an album of 12 cover songs by an underground artist; oh my.
I knew the earlier ones on this and cannot ignore the godlike genius of some of the originals such as opener ‘I’m So Excited’ by The Pointer Sisters. If you have simply read that title the song is probably going round in your head already, just admit it. Now imagine it being sped up to blackened guitar shred proportions, after a hefty scream of course and battered out and quick time with uncouth punkish growls! Once the chorus hits in a blur you won’t know whether to laugh or cry but one thing is for sure, it’s lodged in your head for a week and won’t be shifted. Spider God seem to also add nuances to the guitar melodies that makes them sound like they have escaped from a bizarre Pekinese Opera and there’s plenty of that Oriental slant going on here too. I don’t know what the artists would think on these if they were aware and whether cease and desists would be flung out. The songs are abbreviated to one word as is the case of ‘Dance.’ We know Whitney Houston would have probably protested but she’s dead innit. This is not the best cover of hers I have heard (but is the most annoying) as I am a proud owner of vinyl work from when she joined the JAMS (Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu / KLF) but to be fair this is another un-shiftable belter. Slightly calmer is No Doubt’s ‘Don’t Speak’ which at first I thought was Oasis until the chorus hit and had me nervously shuffling along. Hey I don’t recognise the Spice Girls track ‘Viva Forever’ so obviously its really mangled here or not their biggest hit.
No such problem with Britney and Christina’s offerings Baby and Genie. In fact, they remind a fair bit of UK punk hardcore act Snuff whose version of Tiffany’s ‘I Think We’re Alone now’ became a very dangerous but bona-fide stage diving classic. These could follow that path easily and if after the Pointer Sisters (naturally) you want to attempt another number Ms Spears should be your first port of call; be warned though she likes to let it all hang out. The second half of the album is a bit of a mystery to me (no, not Toyah). I probably should know Backstreet Boys and S Club 7 songs and am not protesting too much but these ones are just vaguely familiar. It’s not my era and neither are the aforementioned West’s and Bieber’s. As for Troy and Twice, who? I guess Spider God have an unnatural knowledge of what’s top of the plops.
Is this a review or just a waffle? I’m not sure and don’t know quite how to wrap it up and giving it a mark is giving me goosebumps as has quite honestly this whole experience. Well,,you can try before you buy, it’s all there to listen to on Bandcamp if you are feeling brave / foolish enough. Who knows, it might put a shit eating grin on your face, you may be moved to sporadic bursts of foul language or through the nearest window, but you will be moved believe me! I’m going for a lie down before attempting the new album.
I do pretty much guarantee after putting this up as 1st review of the week you will be marked safe from any further mentions of these chart-toppers for the rest of it, this is a one-off jump down the spider hole; hopefully?
(*!?@/10 Pete Woods)
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