The ever reliable Metal Archives lists five bands with Pandas in their name. Bloody Panda a doom band with a nutty Japanese singer are ace and well worth checking out, I have never clocked any of the others though. Panda Killer from Thailand and Spring Of Drowned Panda Czech Republic also have it in for the cuddly naturally corpse-painted beast, although Panda Party USA sound like they are willing to throw them a good time; perhaps a bit like a teddy bear’s picnic. Eviscerated Panda are not the last band (it’s actually X Panda from Estonia for those wanting to know) as they are not a real group. Having said that though they do really feel like one, as here they get outing number 4 in a trilogy of books written about them.
Sarah Tipper has gone down the same route as Douglas Adams and George Romero before her and realised that there is plenty more to be told in this fictional tale of a humble up and coming thrash band from Reading England. This is a group who far from doing a Malefice or Sylosis have been going nowhere fast at all. It’s a warts and all tale of a band trying to do what they love whilst having to contend with what is going on in their every-day lives. Entering at this late stage is not a good idea, if you have missed the other books go straight to page one of ‘Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale’ and be prepared to get completely hooked and find yourself devouring the whole series rather like a panda eating bamboo shoots. They are really difficult to put down and this is partly due to the fact that they make up what is possibly the first ever Heavy Metal soap opera. The episodic nature draws in not just the band themselves but also their partners, friends, the local metal fraternity of Reading who all meet up down the same pub The Green Man at weekends and the other bands they share the stage with. These include Over Revved Engine, Demon Speeding, the newly formed (out the ashes of Blackest Intentions) Deep Red Mistress and Dick Trouble And The Viagra’s. You probably just need to see these names to have a good idea what sort of sound and style these bands would play and no doubt you would be spot on too.
It seems that there are plenty of trials and tribulations this time around with the Panda’s as they just can’t get the impetus that they need to break out the normal circles and are a long way off recording any new material. Part of the problem is caused around drummer Paul Wright (no relation to Fields Of The Nephilim guitarist) who has new baby on board and out of necessity is forced to moonlight playing prime dates with covers band The Bandits Of Party City. Who can really blame him when he gets in the region of £300 a night for doing so? Don’t get me started on covers bands and the obscene amounts they get paid compared to hard working groups with their own material. It’s due to sheeple needing easily identified songs and these are often the only experience they have at corporate work dos of seeing live music. The sting in the tail here is all too true (although my opinion of people like this needing to be shot has been said to be a little on the extreme side whenever I have voiced it.) All this has really bugged Phil Winter the Panda’s lead guitarist and driving force as he is now getting on into his 40s and wants some sort of recognition and even fame, taking the band at least to the next level. He is further vexed as his long suffering and tarty girlfriend Suzy after being dropped from band management roles has been getting closer to the ever selfish and egotistical Victor, lead singer of Goth rockers Blood Red Mistress and been playing away from home. Luckily for him she was quickly used as Victor only really has eyes and conquest in mind for Jenni Maxwell the newly engaged girlfriend of the Panda’s lead singer Nick Hamilton-Davies.
As you can no doubt tell even if there is not much going down as far as the band themselves are concerned there’s stacks happening on the side-lines and there’s plenty to keep the action flowing. It would be a bit tricky to get your head around it all but Sarah Tipper has expanded well on things stylistically from the first volume and everything moves along all the more naturally. Of course having followed the characters through three previous volumes (not forgetting of course offshoot The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard) it was like greeting back old friends pretty much on the first page this time around.
Even if you are not particularly a fan of the sort of music the bands featured play, the characters are all endearing and you cannot help being drawn into their world and what is going on in it. It doesn’t hurt the fact that this is written with the author’s great sense of humour and also quite a lot of sex too and although there are no drugs, which is no bad thing there is plenty of beer and chocolate biscuits as well!
The story is definitely not told yet and I have no idea when it will be but I guess there is plenty more to explore in future volumes as life goes on. I have been with it from the start and will be for the long haul, nothing worse than a weekend metal head. Explore things further or reacquaint yourselves at the following links. Now I wonder if there’s a TV script in here, this could well be the new Fresh Meat or Skins but with metal?
(Pete Woods)
Leave a Reply