Damn pandas, even when the females put on a vulgar display the males are often too nonchalant and indifferent, that’s why breeding them in captivity is such a difficult task! But this is no sexually explicit nature documentary. I am not going to take us into a Danish zoo where they probably would find some sort of excuse to disembowel a panda as this is actually the third part of a series about a Reading based thrash band called Eviscerated Panda. They may not be a real band but author Sarah Tipper has certainly breathed plenty of life into them over the past two books (Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale and Back In Bamboo) and I was really keen to see where events were going to take us now. Just a few pages in it was a case of “the gangs all here” and it was like comfortably delving into the lives of a well-loved bunch of characters. The down side of this was that it was a real page turner and although I wanted to savour the book, it flew by far too quickly for my liking. That aside, it already left me hungry for the fourth part of the trilogy (yep “breaking the rules” and hope you now have a certain song going round in your head) which is pretty damn certain to follow.
It’s a story that anyone in an up and coming band will love along with their friends and pretty much anyone who likes decent music and realises that real stuff does not come from TV talent shows. It’s a warts and all story of the trials and tribulations of a band working hard to get nowhere fast. A fairy story this is not as it is the same toilet venues that the Pandas are playing here and even if they do cut their first album during the course of this book there’s no queue of record companies waiting to sign them.
The thing that makes this different from any other such novel is that the author really gets into the head of each and every character here. It is not just about the music but the thoughts, motivations and secrets of each member of the band, their friends, wives and girlfriends and others within their immediate circle. It’s very psychoanalytical in a lot of ways as what you are effectively reading are the innermost thoughts of each and every character. There are lots of them too and a list of characters at the back comes in pretty handy as a refresher. It has been really interesting to watch these characters mature over the novels and there are some that are both new and really are developed on in this part. I particularly enjoyed reading about some of the more negative people this time around and I reckon it must have been a lot of fun writing about Tara a complete and utter user and wanton bed hopping Goth and Victor Lyons, narcissistic, selfish singer from Blackest Intentions. They add a certain darkness and negativity to things which does at times threaten the more likeable characters as they intrude upon their lives. I guess I enjoyed these parts as they certainly reminded me of people I have met through life.
On the other hand it’s great to see how the more likeable characters develop and there are a lot of big changes for them in their personal lives, even if the band itself moves slowly getting nowhere particularly fast. I always enjoy reading about Cleo Howard as if anything I find her the voice of the author more than any other character. I could well be wrong but there is a reason that she wrote the very handy for non heshers (god I hate that term) guide to heavy metal at the back of the book and has also now got her own separate eBook “The Very Metal Diary of Cleo Howard” which I really must read too.
Metal fans are going to have plenty of fun reading about the gigs played here and what goes on with not just Eviscerated Panda but also Over Revved Engine, Kold Pink Ginz, Blackest Intentions, Demon Speeding and Nightshade Milkshake. You can probably look at their names and take a guess at just what sub-genre they are going to fit into. There’s also a bit where some of the cast make it to Wacken Open Air which will bring back many happy memories for anyone who has made the pilgrimage via a night of drinking on Hamburg’s Reeperbahn. It’s not a book that you have to love metal to enjoy either and if I were brutally honest I probably wouldn’t really be a big fan of any of the bands actual music here. There’s much more to it than this and I should point out that there’s stacks of sex and lots of biscuits to be consumed throughout. Intelligently written with great characterisation and obvious love of metal Sarah Tipper is no outsider looking in but is a lifer writing about what she loves with skill and passion. I love the way that she has listed many real bands as being part of the journey that accompanied her when writing this and it particularly brought a smile to my face when Basement Torture Killings get a couple of mentions in the narrative this time round.
The one thing that I would disagree with here is the claim that you can read this as a stand-alone novel not having read the couple of parts before it. I guess theoretically you could but it would be wrong so if you are interested get all three and don’t make excuses! If you have already read them, well I’m preaching to the perverted, of course you are well and truly busy turning pages already, right?
Many a band have their mascot and although a panda (guts intact) might be a bit fluffy compared to the likes of Maiden’s Eddie The Head and Motorhead’s Snaggletooth it’s been a great journey so far following the exploits of this loveable character who accompanies the band everywhere (unless they accidently leave him at home.) You too can follow him around on his exploits on the official Facebook as well, as the author has him photographed in all sorts of places (my book arrived with a snap of him sunning himself on the beach). Vulgar Display has taken him further on his travels and this is a wholly accurate in a lovingly crafted series of books that are a joy to read. Vulgar Display leaves you in a state of demanding to know what is going to happen in the future even though you are well aware that for a struggling band like this there is only so far the author is going to be able to take them. There’s plenty of life in them yet though so jump on board and embrace the drama of Eviscerated Panda, one of the greatest metal bands conceived through a work of fiction. Who knows someday they may just become cult enough to brought to life and play the main stage at a festival; stranger things have happened!
(Pete Woods)
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