Listening to a GWAR album can be a little like going swimming without any water. There is definitely something missing from the experience, unless perhaps you get a load of mates round straight from the butchers shop to throw blood, guts and offal all over you, puke up in your face and pee on you. But that would be far too much like one of those German art films people keep telling me about and believe you me last time I tried cleaning up after was horrendous! Yep GWAR are a live experience through and through and their albums are to a very large extent designed to co-ordinate with their stage show. Naturally this does not stop them releasing them and now we are up to the unlucky 13th studio album. I have far too many of these for my own good and sanity but still as I do every time have to say they will never better the phenomenal 2nd 1990 album ‘Scumdogs Of The Universe’ and I really do miss Slymenestra. Naturally with this album we also have to say that we miss Cory Smoot aka Flattus Maximus taken far too young at the age of 34 by a heart attack.
This has not slowed the rest of the warriors down though and as we listen to the intro to the album we are in for grave news. Apparently the Jizmoglobin is on the march “And if he succeeds it’s the death…of…GWAR” Oh no behind you, and who spunked in my ear? Yep best not take this one too damn seriously but naturally it’s all done in the best possible taste!
GWAR’s racket is a well-executed one and a good work out of thrashing metal which you can leave your brain at the door and headbang to or get immersed in the lyrics and errrr leave your head at the door and headbang to. Songs like the furious punky barrage of ‘Madness At The Core Of Time,’ see Oderus Urungus vocals barking and commanding as ever and he gabbles away around some neat flailing leads and occasional bravado gung-ho gang shouts from his troops. It’s a great way to start and it makes me really want to go skidding around the floor on various bodily fluids to it! It has to be said that some of these new songs are catchy as hell, ‘Bloodbath’ for example kind of sticks in the head rather than simply attempting to cut it clean off and before you know it you are likely to be singing along with the band about dead bodies, which caused me no end of problems at the bus stop the other day. Others are a lot more workmanlike and formulaic, designed to keep the narrative flowing and add meat to the bones of it all over the 13 track running time.
‘They Swallowed The Sun’ is good fun and sees Oderus going into real theatrical oratory mode with his vocals although they keep reminding me of the great Flexi Jerkoff from Flesh Gordon for some dastardly reason. There’s also some great backing wails on this no doubt spurred on by the whipping of slaves. I love the way the record label send a digital promo out with a list of exactly where profanities can be found on the album, I guess it’s for those playing on commercial (haha) radio but seriously what DJ is going to accidently play a track called ‘Raped At Birth?’ It’s another stand out moment and like most of the songs here goes like the veritable clappers but I think it’s best not to print any of the poetic lyrics here.
With a mighty clash of metallic heaviosity the title track naturally goes for major carnage and it’s difficult not to imagine how this battle is likely to go down on stage. It’s so full on that Oderus doesn’t even have time to sing. It does however help illustrate that this lot are pretty damn tight musicians and apparently it is a song in tribute to their fallen comrade Flattus and a fitting one at that. ‘Triumph Of The Pig Children’ follows straight off and sounds a hell of a lot like White Zombie to my ears at first. Not a bad thing really, you can see the two bands going head to head and as for the pig children perhaps they escaped from a certain Green Jelly song (god saying that makes me feel old). Surprise of the album is definitely ‘Falling’ a ballad and a rather gorgeous one! There’s a bit of a psychedelic hue about the guitars here and it sounds like it could be a 70’s cover a little. The strange thing is replace the vocalist (impossible though as he is no longer with us) and I could easily see Type O Negative doing this one, it has that type of vibe (man). As for what happens at the end I’m sworn to secrecy under fear of being farted to death on by a man in a big rubber costume, so if you want to know what happens you are going to have to pick up the album itself. It’s been far too long though for a live show and I want to see the band ripping a new one through one of our London venues, they won’t even need a clean-up operation after with the state of most of them.
(7/10 Pete Woods)
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