SecretApparently this Spanish symphonic and operatic band formed in Spain in 2005 and recorded just one song which got immediate airplay and inspired the band to write more. I would kind of like to go and find whoever played the song on the radio and severely chastise them for having done so as it has meant that I have the unwelcome task of reviewing the band’s debut album, which I have before me.

Generic and somewhat weedy synths and growly male voice start off the ‘Welcome’ of the album building into orchestral pomp and the cheese laden intro of first song proper ‘My Theatre Of Sadness And Pain.’ Is this an operating theatre I have to somewhat cruelly ask as singer May Lucas warbles in? It’s a short intro to that voice but she is back and literally wailing in a strained cat throttled style that really is not at all pleasant to listen to. The growler is back too and the instruments having got a semblance of trite melody are happy to amble along adding strings in a slapdash fashion but at least giving a break from the vocals.

Believe it or not but I do not actually like being nasty to bands but sometimes you simply have to be cruel and put things in perspective. This came with the declaration that it is for fans of Nightwish, Epica, After Forever, Within Temptation, Therion, etc. These are all bands that I hold high regard for and are all expert at what they do and although Secret Signs are of that ilk (loosely) they are in a completely different ballroom as far as quality and professionalism is concerned. The vocals often sound off key and are at times so difficult to listen to that I am shuddering. The music itself is generic and plods along on songs like ‘Words.’ There is little spark or excitement or even drive in it and the melodies are on the whole trite and utterly disposable.

We get the ballad with ‘Battle For The Darkness’ and for a while the vocals sound much more natural like although on the tired side. It does not last long though as the music goes into excessive keyboard canter and the battle is won again by the overblown pomp. The chorus is strong but for all the wrong reasons as it sounds so painfully off key I am literally cringing. The band obviously think they have hit pay-dirt though and repeat it over and over, not having a clue when to gracefully dip out of one song and move onto the next.

I try and look for positive things to say as this continues with the ten songs clocking in at a painful 52 minutes but as was the case with the several other listens I have given to this I am at a real loss. Perhaps I should give Secret Signs the benefit of the doubt and believe that there is someone out there who genuinely likes them. If they do feel free to drop your address and you can have my disc, I will never play it again. Perhaps the label anticipated this as they simply sent the booklet with the music on a CDR, literally fit for the bin.

(2.5/10 Pete Woods)     

http://www.secretsigns.es