Fed up with being torn to pieces in Japanese genre cinema such as ‘Guinea Pig Flowers Of Flesh And Blood’ and ‘Guts Of A Virgin’ what we need is the other side of the coin with sisters getting some of their own back. If those sort of films above turn your stomach well fear not as ‘Yakuza Hunters 1: The Ultimate Battle Royale’ (to give its full title) is much more action and indeed fun orientated than a movie going for the gross out. To be fair there are plenty of fatal femme movies fromJapan, who can forget the likes of the lethal ‘Lady Snowblood’ and the superb Jap WIP action dealt out by Toei Companies’ infamous ‘Female Convict Scorpion’? In more modern times ‘Azumi’ cut a claret suave across the screen dishing out rough justice with blazing swords of vengeance and much more recently we have the likes of ‘Hard Revenge Milly’ and her bloody battles. I could go on and on but you get the picture and if songs like ‘Bikini Girls With Machine Guns’ spring to mind you are in the right sort of place to settle back with a few cold ones (which are pretty much obligatory for viewing this one) and marvel at the ass kicking ‘Yakuza Hunters’ on their no doubt first of many ventures. 

For those of you who have never watched a Takashi Miike or Takeshi Kitano movie you need to know but one thing Yakuza = bad guys; highly dangerous criminal gangsters who stop at  nothing and destroy all that get in their way. That sorted, the Yakuza Hunters speak for themselves. We start the movie with the lead hunter having been unceremoniously buried under a large pile of rocks in a deserted quarry. The main star is Asami who has been in many of the new high octane splatter movies coming out of Japan such as Gothic & Lolita Psycho, Mutant Girl Squad, Robo Geisha and Machine Girl. If you have not seen any of these, rectify this and you will not be disappointed. If you have, she will be a familiar face and it is this dazed and bloody visage we see appearing out of the rubble to dispatch swift justice on her would be bumbling assassin.
The basic plot (and it is pretty basic) involves an ongoing battle between Asumi and her former girl gang partner Junko, who out of greed betrayed her friends and ended up joining the local Yakuza clan. The film unfolds in a non stop orgy of slapstick and violence. The Yakuza’s are portrayed as a bit on the bumbling side although ultimately sadistic and as Asami installs herself back into the swing of things after having apparently been missing for three years there is plenty of opportunity for staged fights, torture and retribution for all involved.

I have one complaint about the film and unfortunately it is a major one which did partly ruin my enjoyment especially seeing as the special effects and visual effects are done by the team behind the fantastic ‘Tokyo Gore Police’. Put simply all the blood and bullets (integral to the film) are delivered with very shaky looking CGI effects which are no way as satisfying or effective as the old style of doing things. Get the cast and crew bloody it really is the only way no matter how many squib effects you have to set up. Once you get used to this you can settle back and watch the rest of the movie but I am afraid it really does leave a stale taste in the mouth.

The one thing that does stick up is the fingers. No seriously, the film takes ‘pinky violence’ to whole new levels with the likes of ‘the finger cutting game’ which is sure to make your eyes water. Said appendages are never wasted here as amongst the fantastical elements are guns that can fire these lethal digits as well as another trick Asami literally has up her sleeve of catching bullets and throwing them back!
The last half hour sees the final battle, at times the effects make it look like a video game; it is that sort of level of violence. The martial (piss) artistry however is a delight to watch and involves all sorts of tricks and weaponry including a possibly Toxic Avenger inspired broom attack. If it is badly choreographed well what the hell, as the eye candy of the black clad Asami and her four ass kicking babe compadres will happily take your mind off this and the shoddy effects.

So this is no great high art movie and it is one that is more likely to engage your groin than your brain but what you going to do? Get in from the pub, throw the cat out the chair (bastard punctured the blow up sheep whilst you were out anyway) and slab this bitching fun bag feast in the player. Job done and I look forward to further instalments from the Yakuzaaaaaa Hunteeeeeers!

Pete Woods

http://www.cinedumonde.co.uk/yakuza-hunters